You did a very nice job of introducing the subject of your essay by using an engaging introductory sentence to attract the reader's attention. The use of ample evidence aids the development of your argument and your indication of the relationship between music and mathematics at the end of pieces of evidence provides structure and thought to your position. I think that you need to more clearly state your thesis as it is hard to see the meaning that you have interpreted from the work. Despite of stating the importance, I feel that you need to explain what meaning the author is trying to convey to the world at large. You may want to expand on the purpose or motive of the author in writing this article.
You chose a really interesting article to write about! You do a great job of analyzing the diction and imagery. You provide a lot of examples from the writing that emphasize your point and make your writing very persuasive. I also like how you commented on the repetition of the word "math"; although one wouldn't normally think of this as being effective, you prove that it really does add a certain tone to the writing that enhances the meaning! I would work on the flow and organization of your writing. Topic sentences and a conclusion would wrap it up nicely and make it better holistically.
This was a very interesting piece, and i liked how you described it. You really helped convey the authors points. I think that you could spend more time writing about specific uses and effects of literary techniques, but other than that this was good.
You did a very nice job of introducing the subject of your essay by using an engaging introductory sentence to attract the reader's attention. The use of ample evidence aids the development of your argument and your indication of the relationship between music and mathematics at the end of pieces of evidence provides structure and thought to your position. I think that you need to more clearly state your thesis as it is hard to see the meaning that you have interpreted from the work. Despite of stating the importance, I feel that you need to explain what meaning the author is trying to convey to the world at large. You may want to expand on the purpose or motive of the author in writing this article.
ReplyDeleteYou chose a really interesting article to write about! You do a great job of analyzing the diction and imagery. You provide a lot of examples from the writing that emphasize your point and make your writing very persuasive. I also like how you commented on the repetition of the word "math"; although one wouldn't normally think of this as being effective, you prove that it really does add a certain tone to the writing that enhances the meaning! I would work on the flow and organization of your writing. Topic sentences and a conclusion would wrap it up nicely and make it better holistically.
ReplyDeleteThis was a very interesting piece, and i liked how you described it. You really helped convey the authors points. I think that you could spend more time writing about specific uses and effects of literary techniques, but other than that this was good.
ReplyDelete