#4 You explore the question well. Your description of Macbeth's actions and what this says about his character are good. In addition you focus well what the outcome of his violence is, and the consequences of his violent turn. However you fail to make a specific thesis statement. I feel that the essay explores the question well but you never really answer the question. The intro could be strengthend to include a more logical beginning and a strong thesis that fits what you discuss in the essay. Your last sentence seems like your take of what violence means in Macbeth, therefore is should be included in the introduction as part of your thesis. #3 Your intro could be adjusted by changing the thesis. Instead of listing the literary devices, perhaps "the author's techniques characterize her as a revolutionary woman...etc". This is more effective in my opinion. Your textual information is significant and applied well. I'm not sure that you make clear the social institutions that the author wishes to modify with the work. I think that you could make this more obvious, because you definitely mention the social institutions in the abstract. #2 The first sentence may be something that Ms. Holmes warned us about early in the year, a broad over arching since the dawn of time statement. Perhaps this could be adjusted, but that is just my opinion im not entirely sure. Your thesis is clearer in this essay than the others I have read, and I feel that it answers the question well. The idea of coming full circle is an example closure, which your argue well adds hope for the future. You develop this idea well, but perhaps additional techniques of the author could be used to solidify this point. #1 Your intro is very strong. Each part is clearly there and sets up the essay well. Your thesis is strong as well, however perhaps it could include how the nature of the villainy contributes to the work as a whole. Your essay clearly answers most of the question and your thesis, but I feel you left out the last part of the question. All you need to do is explain how Jack's villiany contributes to showing the evil tendencies of all people.
I was unable to comment on your Synthesis of course material so I decided to do it here. I feel that you have included most of the huge ideas we have covered in this class. You have a better list of information than I do. Something that I considered very important to this class however is drawing comparisons between texts. We have read a number of works of fiction that are extremely diverse. Being able to draw comparisons between works like this would be extremely beneficial to the understanding of literature in general. I felt that this was an idea we explored to some extent during some class disucussions of novels. I think that maybe you could include something of this nature, such as points of intersection between PandP, Ceremony, Hamlet, DOAS, and The A D. Perhaps additonal information on poetry, because that is something that Ms. Holmes stressed to us, the imporatance of the vocabulary associated with poetry. For the open prompt make sure to include the idea "Thesis answers prompt". Your list of critical lenses very good, but maybe adding examples of its application to literature you have read would be very helpful.
Prompt 4: I like your introduction sentences, but the thesis could be more developed and your paragraphs a bit more focused in answering the thesis. In P1 you could expand more about why Macbeth is upset to just be the Thane of Cawder and how his action of killing the King is a cowardly action. I like P2 but you could maybe give the reader a hint of the consequences Macbeth will have to suffer without giving to much away. P3 could be re-worded to be a little more clear and some examples are needed to like it to your thesis. I love your conclusion but it could be just a bit shorter. Prompt 3: Your thesis is much stronger in this prompt and your paragraphs give solid examples of how Jane is a "revolutionary woman". Good use of examples and quotes in P1. The conclusion is good and sums up the prompt without restating a single part of it. Good job overall! Prompt 2: I love that you chose 'Kite Runner' for this prompt! I felt that parts of your introduction and conclusion could have been switched around to make the essay a little more clear. The last sentence of the conclusion would make a great thesis and make your examples of how the ending gives a look back at the past as well as towards the future. In P3 you could give some details about the horrors the boys face (if possible). P4 was great because it related to your thesis amazingly, wouldn't change a thing! Prompt 1: Another great book for this prompt! I loved the introduction and how you tied in examples with little bits of the plot. Your essay was filled with lots of good examples how Jack's villainy, the only thing I would add are examples of how his villainy and actions enhanced the meaning of the novel as a whole.
Synthesis of Course Material: Wow. I had many of these things in my posts but you went in great detail. I could really study from this post and be able to review everything whenever I would need to. With the section of plays you could think of including those we've read and how different they are to each other. You could also include your thoughts on our class discussions and if you think they have been effective or not, as well as given you a new look at the plays/novels than what you had before. Overall, this is a great post with lots of good studying materials at the click of my mouse.
#4
ReplyDeleteYou explore the question well. Your description of Macbeth's actions and what this says about his character are good. In addition you focus well what the outcome of his violence is, and the consequences of his violent turn. However you fail to make a specific thesis statement. I feel that the essay explores the question well but you never really answer the question. The intro could be strengthend to include a more logical beginning and a strong thesis that fits what you discuss in the essay. Your last sentence seems like your take of what violence means in Macbeth, therefore is should be included in the introduction as part of your thesis.
#3
Your intro could be adjusted by changing the thesis. Instead of listing the literary devices, perhaps "the author's techniques characterize her as a revolutionary woman...etc". This is more effective in my opinion. Your textual information is significant and applied well. I'm not sure that you make clear the social institutions that the author wishes to modify with the work. I think that you could make this more obvious, because you definitely mention the social institutions in the abstract.
#2
The first sentence may be something that Ms. Holmes warned us about early in the year, a broad over arching since the dawn of time statement. Perhaps this could be adjusted, but that is just my opinion im not entirely sure. Your thesis is clearer in this essay than the others I have read, and I feel that it answers the question well. The idea of coming full circle is an example closure, which your argue well adds hope for the future. You develop this idea well, but perhaps additional techniques of the author could be used to solidify this point.
#1
Your intro is very strong. Each part is clearly there and sets up the essay well. Your thesis is strong as well, however perhaps it could include how the nature of the villainy contributes to the work as a whole. Your essay clearly answers most of the question and your thesis, but I feel you left out the last part of the question. All you need to do is explain how Jack's villiany contributes to showing the evil tendencies of all people.
I was unable to comment on your Synthesis of course material so I decided to do it here. I feel that you have included most of the huge ideas we have covered in this class. You have a better list of information than I do. Something that I considered very important to this class however is drawing comparisons between texts. We have read a number of works of fiction that are extremely diverse. Being able to draw comparisons between works like this would be extremely beneficial to the understanding of literature in general. I felt that this was an idea we explored to some extent during some class disucussions of novels. I think that maybe you could include something of this nature, such as points of intersection between PandP, Ceremony, Hamlet, DOAS, and The A D. Perhaps additonal information on poetry, because that is something that Ms. Holmes stressed to us, the imporatance of the vocabulary associated with poetry. For the open prompt make sure to include the idea "Thesis answers prompt". Your list of critical lenses very good, but maybe adding examples of its application to literature you have read would be very helpful.
ReplyDeletePrompt 4:
ReplyDeleteI like your introduction sentences, but the thesis could be more developed and your paragraphs a bit more focused in answering the thesis. In P1 you could expand more about why Macbeth is upset to just be the Thane of Cawder and how his action of killing the King is a cowardly action. I like P2 but you could maybe give the reader a hint of the consequences Macbeth will have to suffer without giving to much away. P3 could be re-worded to be a little more clear and some examples are needed to like it to your thesis. I love your conclusion but it could be just a bit shorter.
Prompt 3:
Your thesis is much stronger in this prompt and your paragraphs give solid examples of how Jane is a "revolutionary woman". Good use of examples and quotes in P1. The conclusion is good and sums up the prompt without restating a single part of it. Good job overall!
Prompt 2:
I love that you chose 'Kite Runner' for this prompt! I felt that parts of your introduction and conclusion could have been switched around to make the essay a little more clear. The last sentence of the conclusion would make a great thesis and make your examples of how the ending gives a look back at the past as well as towards the future. In P3 you could give some details about the horrors the boys face (if possible). P4 was great because it related to your thesis amazingly, wouldn't change a thing!
Prompt 1:
Another great book for this prompt! I loved the introduction and how you tied in examples with little bits of the plot. Your essay was filled with lots of good examples how Jack's villainy, the only thing I would add are examples of how his villainy and actions enhanced the meaning of the novel as a whole.
Synthesis of Course Material:
ReplyDeleteWow. I had many of these things in my posts but you went in great detail. I could really study from this post and be able to review everything whenever I would need to. With the section of plays you could think of including those we've read and how different they are to each other. You could also include your thoughts on our class discussions and if you think they have been effective or not, as well as given you a new look at the plays/novels than what you had before. Overall, this is a great post with lots of good studying materials at the click of my mouse.
1982 (Macbeth) Prompt:
ReplyDeleteThe actual quote is "Out, damn'd spot! out, I say!" It's very well-known, and you don't want to misquote it. Misquoting is a big no-no.
1982, cont'd:
ReplyDeleteYou've written a well-organized, well-supported essay, here. My only real criticism is that you have a lot of errors in usage.
Synthesis Assignment:
ReplyDeleteGreat job!