You have to be super careful not to summarize the story you are talking about. Alot of your essay was about plot and you have to make sure you include the analysis of technique, effect and meaning. Also make sure that you answer the question. You wrote a good essay but I don't thing you really answered "explain how the scene or scenes contribute to the meaning of the complete work". Especially in your thesis you don't really explain what points you want to/will hit or how you will analysis those points. Remember that whole "thesis answers the question". You wrote a great analysis of each scene but I think you could have tied to all of them together a little more. You also touch on meaning at the very end and you make an excellent point but you probably want to elaborate more and not in the conclusion.
Your essay is very good, but you did summarize the plot a little to much, and that is what the prompt told you not to do ( I always end up summarizing plots too!) I think it just might be a force of habit! You didn't really talk all that much about how certain scenes contribute to the meaning, and you sort of didn't say what the over all meaning was. I like that each paragraph is a different scene, it helps keep the reader organized about which part is where.
Your thesis barely answers the question and omits both effects and techniques. It says only what you are going to prove, not how. Also, the last sentence of the second paragraph and the first sentence of the third paragraph both begin "adverb, clause". This distracts the reader; perhaps you could play with word order. You should tie your body paragraphs back to Macbeth's "cowardly selfishness" more clearly. You seem to approach a deeper theme in the third body paragraph and the conclusion: violence is final and permanent. This seems to be a great interpretation but it it doesn't match up with your thesis. Maybe this essay could be changed to show how the violence in Macbeth delivers that theme.
You have to be super careful not to summarize the story you are talking about. Alot of your essay was about plot and you have to make sure you include the analysis of technique, effect and meaning. Also make sure that you answer the question. You wrote a good essay but I don't thing you really answered "explain how the scene or scenes contribute to the meaning of the complete work". Especially in your thesis you don't really explain what points you want to/will hit or how you will analysis those points. Remember that whole "thesis answers the question". You wrote a great analysis of each scene but I think you could have tied to all of them together a little more. You also touch on meaning at the very end and you make an excellent point but you probably want to elaborate more and not in the conclusion.
ReplyDeleteYour essay is very good, but you did summarize the plot a little to much, and that is what the prompt told you not to do ( I always end up summarizing plots too!) I think it just might be a force of habit! You didn't really talk all that much about how certain scenes contribute to the meaning, and you sort of didn't say what the over all meaning was. I like that each paragraph is a different scene, it helps keep the reader organized about which part is where.
ReplyDeleteYour thesis barely answers the question and omits both effects and techniques. It says only what you are going to prove, not how. Also, the last sentence of the second paragraph and the first sentence of the third paragraph both begin "adverb, clause". This distracts the reader; perhaps you could play with word order. You should tie your body paragraphs back to Macbeth's "cowardly selfishness" more clearly. You seem to approach a deeper theme in the third body paragraph and the conclusion: violence is final and permanent. This seems to be a great interpretation but it it doesn't match up with your thesis. Maybe this essay could be changed to show how the violence in Macbeth delivers that theme.
ReplyDelete